i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
