I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
