Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize