so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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