the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
