try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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