It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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