Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
