You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
