I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
