when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
