im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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