i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
