So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize