After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
