I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
