can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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