apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
