FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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