I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize