What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
