so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
