just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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