Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just took my morning after pill in the library
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
