Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
