I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
