Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
