drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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