Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
