Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
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