By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
