i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
