at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
