there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize