Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and she was petting her beer can
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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