Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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