Having a random hookup so left but love u
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
