so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
