been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
