Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
God, I missed his penis.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
