we have pet lesbian snakes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i drank out of a bidet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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