Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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