i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
