Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
