what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
