Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i dont even know how to be here
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
