Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
