as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
