trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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