this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
