All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
