im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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