I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
