at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
farters have to be the big spoon...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
