4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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