WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
