the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
