I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
