Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
