Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
