Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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