Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
