Your dad touched me again.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he shaved USA in his pubs
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
