You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
