alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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