Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
