oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sorry my hands just texted you
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
