I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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