Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
