Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
