The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
