guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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