thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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